Pile of Gold

I just found my theme song.

Welcome to the Social

Sooooo.... Zune.

Anyone heard of it?

Our good buddies in Redmond decided to try their hand at beating Apple at their own game. First of all, good fucking luck, guys. It's one thing to go into an established market and lowball your way into the forefront. It's quite another to try to transform over two decades of brand image already established in the minds of consumers. Oh, and let's not forget they're competing with a brand image that is currently considered the pinnacle of cool. So cool, in fact, that it's cooler than beer amongst college students. Good. Fucking. Luck.

But, putting aside the fact that Microsoft is totally fucked on this business venture, let's look at the Zune a bit more in depth. The tagline for the Zune is "Welcome to the Social." If you know how the Zune works, this is an obvious reference to the fact that Zunes can be used to wirelessly share music with other Zune users. This also happens to be the only real selling point for the Zune. It's social. If you've been anywhere on the Internet for the past few months, you'll know that sharing is all the rage: sharing bookmarks, sharing pictures, sharing videos. All this sharing is sure to make the world a better place, giving dirty hippies from all over the world hope for a new tomorrow. And that's what MS is trying to cash in on.

With the Zune, you can share music with your friends. But it's the kind of sharing that comes with strings attached; when you send a song, it says, "You can have me, but only for three plays or three days, then I'm out the door." Even if it's not a stolen song, even if the artist wants you to share the song with your friends. Hell, even if you are the goddamn musician, you gotta play by the 3-plays-or-3-days rule. Microsoft ends up taking the single redeeming feature of an otherwise mundane device, and cripples it at the whim of the record companies... yet all the while trying to cash in on the granola-karma-Woodstock vibe.

Free love is one of those things that's great in principle, but in practice, it always costs something.

Fictional Worlds

Now, I can't really be one to judge others' use of escapist alternate realities, but does anyone else find it weird that Second Life has taken off? Maybe weird isn't the right word... maybe prophetic... ?

Whenever I read about SL, I get flashbacks to reading both Jennifer Government and The Metamorphosis of Prime Intellect. I mean, here we have this world that is, just like the early Internet, wide open. Initially populated with artsy hippie types, businesses have been quick to establish themselves, what with there being an exchange rate between the in-game Linden Dollar and the US Dollar. And now... now all the big players are getting involved: automotive companies, computer manufacturers, entertainment networks, news agencies. It makes sense: their audience is here, and some really cool shit is happening in-world.

When the singularity hits (and Ray Kurzweil promised it would), it's gonna leave the world looking a lot like SL, so better get prepared now. And even if we never do get a singularity, it's still worth jumping on the bandwagon. Fictional worlds tend to have a habit of forcing themselves into our everyday reality.

We hurt the ones we love...

...but only while they let us. Let's get back to the Sexual Stock Market, shall we.

I have watched a lot of my friends' relationships come and go, and there is one truth that always comes out. Someone is always the giver, and someone is always the taker. Truth be told, each partner is both a giver and a taker, but by the end of the relationship, there is always a clear indication of how those ratios were actually split. Typically, relationships end when the giver has run out of goods, thus resulting in the taker deciding to skip town (or getting kicked to the curb) to look for new markets to exploit.

I recently just saw someone I know end a very lengthy relationship. Why? Well, she couldn't bear the costs anymore. Her ROI was simply non-existent. And why did he think he could continue exploit her? Because he didn't think there was any competition. Unfortunately for him, the marketplace is wide open, filled with gentlemen suitors ready to make good on a lovely, intelligent lady's investment in them.

So... who's left in your rolodex now, my friend?

And before anyone asks...

Clients. If you've ever had them, then you know exactly what I mean.

Rumors and Gossip

Two things I hate. But for some damn reason, everyone else is drawn to them like flies to shit. This just popped up on Boing Boing last night... there might be some good ammunition in here:

"A rumor is what you do when you try to figure out the truth with other people,” DiFonzo says. “It’s collective sense making. The classic example is ‘I heard that…’”

Gossip, on the other hand, is sharing information with an agenda, he says. It could be for entertainment or to bond with another person or to reinforce a social norm. Gossip, which may be true, tends to have an edge.

“Gossip is more to do with social networks,” DiFonzo says. “A strong motivation we have as humans is to connect with a group.”

Sharing information with an agenda... very interesting...

Portal

Someone seriously needs to hook me up with an advance copy of Portal...

I's an FPS! No, it's a puzzle game! No, it's both wrapped in one magnificent conceptual adventure!

Simple rules leading to complex scenarios... you draw the parallels.

The Law of Profit

The Law of Profit is as essential to the stock market, as the Law of Gravity is to people living on Earth. It regulates everything. It doesn't matter what someone may be offering to you, it doesn’t matter how perfect they seem, how little they ask of you. In the end, nobody invests in anything unless they think they can profit from it. The only variables are what kind of profit they are seeking, and how long are they willing to sit on their investment before it matures. Any way you look at it, the goal is always the same.

Visualize every single person you know, or have gone out with, or slept with, as a company producing goods and services. Like any company, each of these people are in the pursuit of personal profit.

While personal profit can come in many shapes and forms, (some want to get laid for one night, others are seeking marriage with kids, and yet others want someone to parade in public by their arm) the overall reward can be summed up in one word: ego. Every single transaction in the sexual stock market takes place in the pursuit of strengthening our ego, pumping up our self esteem, and strengthening the value of our company in the market. Ego is the driving engine propelling a company’s activity, the equivalent of the shareholder boards of the companies trading in the financial markets.

To keep our ego (shareholders) satisfied, we will cook our accounting books, lie, improve our health and appearance, bad mouth former associates (ex-boyfriends) we no longer do business with, and vanquish anyone whose interests conflict with ours.

Investments come and go, but no matter what, the ego must always be fed.